This is my article:
Final Fantasy XIII Versus
By: Moe
One question: When? Why? Who? Er, no, that’s three questions, sorry. Anyway, I am here, descended from the skies of Weirdo Land, to answer your questions- to the best of my ability. Back to the subject- Final Fantasy XIII Versus, the new installation of Final Fantasyness. The storyline is very vague so far, and only a fragment of the character cast has been revealed. The main character is nicknamed The Prince- the director of the game, Nomura, has told us that he is indeed royalty. Apparently he is a quite stoic character, and shows little to no emotion. The proposed female main character has been dubbed “Skirtgirl” because of her black skirt. It is unknown whether she is with or against the Prince, because there is a scene where the two fight each other. Other than them, there are a few minor characters who are friends to the Prince, and also a white robed man who contrasts sharply with the Prince’s dark clothing. Anyway, the fighting style promises to be quite interesting. The Prince calls out levitating swords from absolutely nowhere! Fun, really, really fun, at least to me. Also, kiddies, this game is rated T for teen, because, finally, Square Enix decided that you can’t stab a guy with a 4 foot, foot wide sword with no blood whatsoever.
4 comments:
hi......i am the copy editor...cool article....oh btw imm sarah m. :D
One question: When? Why? Who? Never mind, that’s three questions, sorry. Anyway, I am here, descended from the skies of Weirdo Land, to answer your questions-to the best of my ability. Final Fantasy XIII Versus is the new installation of Final Fantasy. The storyline is very vague so far, and only a fragment of the character cast has been revealed. The main character is nicknamed The Prince the director of the game, Nomura, has told us that he is indeed royalty. Apparently he is a quite stoic character, and shows little to no emotion. The proposed female main character has been dubbed “Skirtgirl” because of her black skirt. It is unknown whether she is with or against the Prince, because there is a scene where the two fight each other. Other than them, there are a few minor characters who are friends to the Prince, and also a white-robed man who contrasts sharply with the Prince’s dark clothing. Anyway, the fighting style promises to be quite interesting. The Prince calls out levitating swords from absolutely nowhere! This game is fun, really, really fun, at least it is to me. Also, kiddies, this game is rated T for teen, because, finally, Square Enix decided that you can’t stab a guy with a 4 foot, foot wide sword with no blood what-so-ever. So go take a stab at this great new game, I’m sure you’ll love it.
i edited your article and again it wasnt that hard, i added a conclusion sentence seeing that it didn't feel complete. like many other articles it had some opinion in it so we'll let mr. mayo and reilly decide whether or not that should stay.
Great artical! Video games aren't really my area, but I think it sounds great and gets people siked about the opening.
The second sentence: I'm not sure you should keep it, it's a bit of an 'unrelated sentence' as Mr. Parker quotes, but if you do decide to keep it, I wouldn't put sorry. What do you think?
If you don't keep it, take out the 'anyway'.
Where you say 'Anyway, the fighting style promises to be quite interesting.' I think it would be a good idea to start a new paragraph, a new thought line. Again, if you do, take out the anyway.
I liked the part where you added 'sorry, kiddies' that was really creative.
Sam, great idea about the closing sentence. I like the 'take a stab at it' because you were just talking about fighting.
Sam-I'm not sure about the opinion thing, because - to my understanding - feature is about a lot of things. I would talk to Mr. Mayo about that one.
Overall, great artical! =)
I really like ur article, Aubrey. Very funny and creative. I'm sure video game lovers would like that article a lot... By the way, I think you wrote something wrong, Sam. "The main character is nicknamed The Prince the director of the game, Nomura, has told us that he is indeed royalty." That would be a double sentence. It should be changed so that there is a period after the thw word Prince, and The should be capitalized.
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