Here's my April Fools a la Mantis! I know it's short. Gimme a break, okay!?
You have all seen those small, cute little praying mantises in your backyard, right? Yeah. Well, The new Manti composer, Clawgang Mantisart, has released his new piece, Symphonic Mantisi Clawine. This piece of music shocked the world. Mantisart says, ‘Iz a worka ofva completevly vwonderful mantis gloryv vwith antennae standingv ona enda.’ His orchestra of 250, 000 manti weolonists, viani, and klitists have worked together with many other diversified instrumentalists to create a modern triumph.
The 20 minute long musical masterpiece will no doubt go down in history as a classic. ITunes has been swamped by buyers of the song. We can count on the Manti being hailed as legendary composers in the times to come. Alas, Wolfgang Mozart has been surpassed in the world of uber- classical music masterpieces. The Manti are already settling nicely as the smallest sentimental organisms on the planet.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Lord of the Rings: Conquest
Hi! This is my new article. it is my normal paper article, not the April Fools, which i will be posting shortly.
All of the Lord of the Rings video games so far have ended with: ‘And with the ring destroyed, Middle Earth descended into a long reign of peace… and yaddah, peace, yaddah, fluffy bunnies, yaddah… or at least most of them. So, Lord of the Rings: Conquest offers a new outlook. Let’s see… save the world from Sauron… and then, after that… DESTROY IT AS SAURON! MUHAHAHA! Yes… Destroy all hobbitses… The gameplay is ok, basically your average hack- and- slash fighter. You can go online and play multiplayer, or you can grab a random passerby and play a 2- player campaign offline. For instance, “Hey, dad, want to play Lord of the Rings with me?” “No.” “Ok! Let’s play!” Basically you can drag pretty much anyone in to play this, because skill doesn’t really help when you can just mash buttons and win.
I personally believe that one of the best features of this game is the “Play as Hero” option. During gameplay, you sometimes will respawn and have the option, ‘Play as ______ (insert hero/ villain name here). For instance, in the plains battle, you can play as Eowyn and kill the Witch King. After that, you gain the ‘No Man Am I’ trophy in your trophies section in the PlayStation 3. Also, you can play as Oliphants, Trolls, Balrog, and even an Ent. If you have a Siaxis Controller, it will vibrate like heck if you are near a moving Oliphant or troll or anything at least ten times your size. Take the reins of a battle ready Warg or horse and charge you enemies into nonexistence (I recommend this extremely destructive habit. It is nearly as fun as killing 100 orc grunts in a minute flat. It is also a good way to express your obsessive love of fantasy animals… in a video game). Be careful to not get killed though… it can be quite frustrating to start a whole stage over again because you thought it was fun to run underneath a Oliphant’s foot. Seriously, people. Do you enjoy the big, red FAILED loading screen? Or maybe it is a new form of masochistic activity… Do you do that on math tests, too? Ow! Don’t smack me! I’m sorry!
Anyway, This game is rated T for Teen (Pssh, of course not. It’s rated T for trees only. Oh wait… that would be ‘TO’. Sorry.) so, sorry, kiddies, I don’t know why you are reading this, but, too bad.
All of the Lord of the Rings video games so far have ended with: ‘And with the ring destroyed, Middle Earth descended into a long reign of peace… and yaddah, peace, yaddah, fluffy bunnies, yaddah… or at least most of them. So, Lord of the Rings: Conquest offers a new outlook. Let’s see… save the world from Sauron… and then, after that… DESTROY IT AS SAURON! MUHAHAHA! Yes… Destroy all hobbitses… The gameplay is ok, basically your average hack- and- slash fighter. You can go online and play multiplayer, or you can grab a random passerby and play a 2- player campaign offline. For instance, “Hey, dad, want to play Lord of the Rings with me?” “No.” “Ok! Let’s play!” Basically you can drag pretty much anyone in to play this, because skill doesn’t really help when you can just mash buttons and win.
I personally believe that one of the best features of this game is the “Play as Hero” option. During gameplay, you sometimes will respawn and have the option, ‘Play as ______ (insert hero/ villain name here). For instance, in the plains battle, you can play as Eowyn and kill the Witch King. After that, you gain the ‘No Man Am I’ trophy in your trophies section in the PlayStation 3. Also, you can play as Oliphants, Trolls, Balrog, and even an Ent. If you have a Siaxis Controller, it will vibrate like heck if you are near a moving Oliphant or troll or anything at least ten times your size. Take the reins of a battle ready Warg or horse and charge you enemies into nonexistence (I recommend this extremely destructive habit. It is nearly as fun as killing 100 orc grunts in a minute flat. It is also a good way to express your obsessive love of fantasy animals… in a video game). Be careful to not get killed though… it can be quite frustrating to start a whole stage over again because you thought it was fun to run underneath a Oliphant’s foot. Seriously, people. Do you enjoy the big, red FAILED loading screen? Or maybe it is a new form of masochistic activity… Do you do that on math tests, too? Ow! Don’t smack me! I’m sorry!
Anyway, This game is rated T for Teen (Pssh, of course not. It’s rated T for trees only. Oh wait… that would be ‘TO’. Sorry.) so, sorry, kiddies, I don’t know why you are reading this, but, too bad.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Editorial: Modification Nation
Mmmm… genes. No, not the clothes item, genes. Genes as in what makes us look, act, and think like we do. We get them from our parents. However, in the future that may change. Here’s the thing: Future technology may allow our parents to alter us genetically. This may not visible. Many genetic illnesses would be eliminated, as would risks of other hereditary- related factors. I, myself, would agree with such modifications.
People are born with predispositions to certain addictions and diseases, due to- guess what?! Genes and diseases that run in a family can be extremely scarring and dangerous. I know that people can argue that this genetic modification process could lead to alteration of hair, eyes, and other appearance factors. This could be a fad, blah, blah, blah… but I say it’s not like we decide what we look like anyway. So if our parents chose, what’s the difference? None. Heck, if I had blue hair, I wouldn’t care anyway. Seriously. Brown, blonde, red, and black is getting kind of boring, isn’t it? And dye kills your hair, apparently.
Often this can bring up a bunch of arguments. What if it turns into a cloning method? What if everyone starts to look the same from fads? And… ok, stop with the objections. First question answer/ contrasting statement: So? The type of person mostly depends on how they are brought up, anyway. Adolf Hitler was raised to be that way, ya know. No, really. Okay, now on to the second question: Every parent is different. Weird people like me won’t follow fads, because fads are stupid. Sorry, but that’s just my opinion. Remember people, everyone is differen; just like everyone else.
People are born with predispositions to certain addictions and diseases, due to- guess what?! Genes and diseases that run in a family can be extremely scarring and dangerous. I know that people can argue that this genetic modification process could lead to alteration of hair, eyes, and other appearance factors. This could be a fad, blah, blah, blah… but I say it’s not like we decide what we look like anyway. So if our parents chose, what’s the difference? None. Heck, if I had blue hair, I wouldn’t care anyway. Seriously. Brown, blonde, red, and black is getting kind of boring, isn’t it? And dye kills your hair, apparently.
Often this can bring up a bunch of arguments. What if it turns into a cloning method? What if everyone starts to look the same from fads? And… ok, stop with the objections. First question answer/ contrasting statement: So? The type of person mostly depends on how they are brought up, anyway. Adolf Hitler was raised to be that way, ya know. No, really. Okay, now on to the second question: Every parent is different. Weird people like me won’t follow fads, because fads are stupid. Sorry, but that’s just my opinion. Remember people, everyone is differen; just like everyone else.
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